My immediate family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins) all live in the Albuquerque area. We are a tight knit family. Last Friday was my grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary. A couple weeks earlier we had a big celebration with all of our extended family coming into town for the weekend. My grandparents are like the center or rock of our family. When I think of them I think of a very high level of maturity. Marriage is a rite of passage in itself and 50 years together is a really long time together and something to be proud of. Of course there must have been ups and downs, but when I see them I see two people who are very wise and mature. They are also as happy as can be. So I guess my question to you is How does a lifetime of different rites of passage affect a person? Or in other words Do we ever really reach a point in time where we can classify ourselves as completely mature? Do we stop maturing at a certain age?
I think that we most definitely never stop growing, that life in itself is a process of learning and striving. Certainly, we reach a point where the changes and growth are less drastic (i.e. instead of experiencing physical changes like receiving a driver's license or moving out, we experience changes in temperament and proclivities) but no less important. My parents sound similar to your grandparents-They've been married 30 years and they've told me many times that the key to staying together through life's challenges is to grow together, to experience the daily rites of passage and learn from them with the marriage/relationship in mind.
ReplyDeleteThere is never a point in life where you think to yourself, "I have nothing else to learn." I believe from cradle to grave we grow. You can experience these coming of age moments with the same person by your side for 50 years or you could break away from them and experience them by yourself. Regardless, you will continue to grow, to learn. There are no epic relationships in my family, no 30 year anniversaries coming up any time soon, but I still consider the people in my family very wise. My grandparents just recently got divorced, taking that action was a coming of age moment for them. If you spend so much time being unhappy and then you finally do something about it, put an end to something that ended long ago, you have grown. So basically, my answer is no, you don't stop growing, stop maturing, no matter how old you may be. LIfe is always changing, and we change with it.
ReplyDeleteLife is full of rites of passage and we never stop learning as we grow older. Marriage is a very big rite of passage for two people as they are choosing to live life together, learn, and grow together. Marriage may come with even more obstacles that need to be overcome, taking a step into marriage is a hard one because two completely different people now have each others problems. I believe each day has a coming of age process and growing together just makes it that much harder, yet that much more rewarding. A person never reaches that point in their life where they know everything, as we grow older we need to keep an open mind and realize that there is a lot to life.
ReplyDeleteTo offer a conflicting opinion, I do think that certain people reach a point where they stop maturing and growing. For example, I've met elderly people who are incredibly set in their ways. They live and act according to strict traditions and prejudices. I knew an old woman who never left her house and never communicated with the outside world. She died like that, the last six years of her life had been spent in her house. When someone's life is like that, I find it hard to see how they could continue experiencing rites of passage. People who are not open to growing and changing seldom do so. For many people life is an adventure, but for some its simply a repetitive experience. But maybe I'm wrong, maybe they find ways to grow while sitting bitterly in front of their television sets.
ReplyDeleteI don't think people ever stop growing either, there is always something new to learn. Whether or not the person learns is up to them, but there isn't a point where there is nothing else to learn or experience. The old lady Sage pointed out definitely didn't have anymore coming of age moments, but it seems to me like she decided she didn't want to learn of anything else.
ReplyDeleteAs everyone else said, I don't think we ever stop maturing. Life to me is one big Rite of Passage, and while the effects of the lessons we learn are less drastic later in life, they are still there, no matter how infrequent. Also, older people often relive their experiences whether it be in there children, grandchildren, or someone else, and this "reflection" of sorts helps to shape and polish who they are.
ReplyDelete